Ok, how many times do you think you have someone figured out and then they say or do something or NOT do something and you realize that maybe you don’t know that person as well as you thought? I don’t get it and maybe, just maybe that’s not how it’s suppose to be. But I’m the kind of person that what you see, is what you get! I don’t try to be someone I’m not. With me, you pretty much KNOW who I am. If I’m your friend, I’m a good friend. I’m loyal and always there for you! But when someone I feel acts out of character, I just don’t know how to respond to it.
I can’t tell you just how many things God is showing me during this time of being laid up. This is just one of them. It’s amazing what He’s teaching me. God’s been dealing with me on all levels of my spiritual walk. There’s not a whole lot you can do while you have your foot up in the air, so it’s been very humbling to say the least. I’ve even realized just who really are my friends and those that I THOUGHT were my friends who really aren’t after all.
I’m learning my strengths and weaknesses! This is not easy! Yes, keep showing me Lord my strengths, but please don’t show me my vulnerabilities and weaknesses! 😛
While God is stretching me and growing me, I am learning that I have not yet by any means been refined yet. I AM a work in progress. I am actually liking what the Lord is showing me lately even if it does hurt at times. Here are just a few things I’ve jotted down in my journal that I’d like to share.
*being impatience – this is not easy for me, if I want something, I want it now and puu-leaseeeee people don’t get in my way! But now, I’ve been taking a different approach and rightfully so, I mean I can’t even walk! I HAVE to be patient, with healing, getting around, with my husband, my kids, everything!
*being judgemental – I know I’ve always been a bit judgmental and really not in a bad way, just not a right way! It seems that I had opinions about everything and I sure wanted you to know it. *LOL* But now, I am stopping myself and rethinking if I should be judging this or that. Most often times, I should not and I leave it alone! I can NOT literally tell you just how freeing this has been to me. I can’t control other people and what they do or don’t do. I can’t tell them how to act. I can only be responsible for ME! How am I acting. So now when I’m tempted to fall in a trap to judge I think of those stickers you see on trucks that say, “How am I driving?” Call 1-800- blah blah blah and I think….”How am I acting?” Call 1-800-Go to God!
*being a complainer! Ok…this is HUGE!! I have been catching myself whine and complain about the littlest of things. Why I ask? WHY? Because I can? Because it makes me feel better? These are not valid reasons! I started listening to myself and I did not like what I was hearing! There are so many others in worse situations and circumstances than me. KNOCK IT OFF KACY! LOL
I know these are just a few, but these are everyday things that I know I’m not alone in thinking and doing. We all are impatient, judgemental and complain sometimes. But I want to do these things in a productive and constructive way. I want to strive to be a better person as I grow older. We aren’t too old to learn or change. And everyday, I can’t wait to see what the Lord is going to show me next. I may not always like to know, but in the end, it makes me better!
OK, on a HAPPY DO-DE HAPPY MOMENT!….*drum roll puuuuleeaseeeeeeeeeeee* I got my Cricut Expressions machine yesterday! I have not yet had a chance to get it out and play with it, but I have all of Spring Break and I can’t wait to get started creating. Come back to see more projects in the coming days!
One last note! I went to the electro-physiologist. Here’s the scoop. He says the my arrhythmias look like they are coming from the left side of my heart. He’s given me new medication for the time being and in 6 months if I’m not better, then they will do surgery again. They are taking their time because having surgery in the left side of the heart is very risky and not easy. So for now, I’m ok to try something new. I am even still praying for healing altogether! So we’ll see. Thank you so much for those of you that have kept praying. It really means a lot. I’ll keep you all updated.
Ok, better run, I’ve felt sick ever since I got home. Have a great weekend everyone!
PS: Join me on Skype! I’m kacy.smith I’d love to cam chat~!