Archive for the '~A matter of the heart~' Category

2 weeks ALREADY!

As most of you know my son Zach left for the Army on March 5th.  He didn’t actually make it to Ft. Sill until later that week.  And now  I’m looking at the calendar and he’s been in official Boot Camp for a week as of today.  I haven’t heard from him for over a week and last night I think it finally sunk in that’s he’s not home and not coming home for a very long time.  It no longer seems like he’s spending the nights at friends or gone camping.  So for now, I’m awaiting our first phone call which by reading forums could be anytime now or a long time.

Speaking of forums, I’ve been casually checking out a Parent’s of Soldiers Forum that offers encouragement, support, and even information.  When I first started reading some of the posts, I guess I was a little taken back that a LOT of Mom’s on there seemed very distraught, upset, and very emotional.  It made me wonder why I wasn’t feeling those feelings.  Was I to feel guilty?  Should I act like them? Am I just disconnected?  As I shared this with my MIL yesterday, she said something to me that finally made sense of all that.  She said it’s because YOU have PEACE!  That was it!!!  Rich and I had been praying for months starting last year about Zach’s decision and I finally told the Lord, “Lord, if this is not the path you have for our son, then please close this door before March.  But if this was a path you could see Zach going down, then I gladly lay him in your hands to protect, love, and mature.”  As the months passed it was very clear to me that God was not shutting that door of opportunity.  So on March 5th, the day he left, I felt an overwhelming peace!  Yes, I cried, said our “I love you’s” and “Good byes”, but for some reason at that moment everything seemed like it was all going according to God’s plan.

I am confident that Zach will do well and will even be more proud once he graduates.  It’s hard to wrap my head around knowing my first born is in the military, but you know, I have such a greater appreciation now for the military than I ever did.  Rich and I are concentrating on spending more time with our other two kids as it’s a realization that time doesn’t stop for anyone and those moments will go by fast.  Tell those closest to you how much you love them.  Spend quality time with them.  You can’t ever get that time back!

Until next time…



Oops, May 7th

Well, I know it’s not May 7th, but Happy Birthday to my son yesterday!  He is now officially 16.  And when did I sign up for the attitude to go with it????  Riddle me that one Batman!  We ended not doing anything really because he had gotten a lot of hockey gear the week or two before for his birthday.  So we had a relaxing night at home. Oh did I mention he lost his wallet yesterday too, with ALL of his birthday money in there!  *sigh*

Today Olivia and I are tackling laundry.  Yes, she’s finally learning how to do her own laundry.  Once she’s in charge of hers, that will have been child #3 weaned!  YIPPEE!!

It is quite hot here today, but the flowers are looking gorgeous!

I can smell the end of school  Officially there is 22 days left. I know it will go by faster than anything.  Just looking forward to the time off.  Organization 101 will be in HIGH gear!  Watch out!

Last night was the WORST night.  My heart started acting up at 10:00 last night and didn’t end most of the night.  But, I was so tired, that I caught myself dozing off and on all night.  My doctor is insisting we need to go back in there and clean up the area, so we will be doing that I hope before school is out.

Not much else going on.  I want to wish any of my visitors a VERY HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!  May God refresh you for the job He’s called for you.  There is no greater calling!  N-joy your day friends!



Finding the Merry in Merry Christmas

Today marks the one month anniversary of my heart surgery.  I am not really sure why I haven’t posted in so long, it honestly just hasn’t crossed my mind.

Here’s the update.  The first two weeks after my heart surgery were pretty up and down.  They had warned me that I would still have problems due to the fact that they had aggravated the heart so much.  According to the doctor, the scar tissue has to build up around the areas they burned around the heart.  Supposidly they couldn’t get to three areas in the heart.  Two of those areas were too close to my esophagus and one area was too close to my diaphragm which could cause that to be paralyzed.  Very risky~!  Other than that, they burned all of the areas on the left and right side of the heart.  I really underestimated the healing it would take from this surgery.  As a matter of fact, I was scolded by my nurse/doctor that I went back to work too early and haven’t sufficiently given myself time to heal.  I would have to agree.  All the episodes that have been happening bring back horrible memories of me having problems and not being able to control it.

But, I have good news.  Since school let out last week, I haven’t  had any problems in the last 4 days.  What does this mean?  I am not really sure, and I have my theories.  One theory would be that I am finally starting to heal.  That would be my my most sought out theory.  But then there’s the theory that maybe, just maybe that school is having a huge impact on myhealth and my body is not handling the stress that comes with teaching.  Honestly, I don’t consider it a stress-filled job because it’s something I love doing and something that God has opened the door for.  But I guess my body does think it’s stressful and handles it in a negative way (my heart).  It just seems strange to me that the problems I have the most are during the week when I’m at school or on Friday from all the stress taht built up.  This pattern is one I’ve been living with all year.  And now that I’m on Christmas Vacation and have 2 weeks to have a stress-free life, I’m am doing so well.  Not one heart issue this week.  For me, this is huge!!!!!!!!!

As I reflect back on this year, it was a tough Health year.  First breaking my ankle and secondary, dealing with all of my heart issues.  At times it was more than I could bear.  But God saw me through every step!  He taught me so many things along the way too.  I would haven’t have traded this year for any other as when we are placed in these circumstances, we grow tremendously!  I’m really praying that 2010 holds a much better year for my family and I.

Merry Christmas my friends!  As really, the Merry in Merry Christmas wouldn’t be possible with out Jesus!  Thank you Jesus for bringing my family and I through a difficult 2009 and praying for a new year with new beginnings of growth wth my family.